Moving to Indiana without children has made the transition easier in one key respect. When Hannah and Josh were younger, preaching in a new community meant they had to make new friends. This process was stressful for both children and parents. The Bible, however, reveals some principles that help all of us to create and deepen friendship. Jonathan’s relationship with David, for instance, suggests the following guidelines:

       Be Selfless. After the defeat of Goliath, “Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul” (1 Sam. 18:3). As son of King Saul, Jonathan knew that the throne of Israel rightly belonged to him. But he also knew that the Lord had chosen David to succeed Saul. Most men would have resented this, but not Jonathan. On one occasion he told David, “You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you” (21:17). This commendable attitude will create friendship almost anywhere--on the playground, in the office, or in the church.

       Be Honest. King Saul saw David as a threat to the throne and therefore tried to kill him. Once David asked Jonathan, “What is my sin before your father, that he seeks my life?” (1 Sam. 20:1). But Jonathan replied, ”Why should my father hide this from me? It is not so” (v. 2). Actually, it was so. Jonathan was mistaken, but he was not dishonest. He told David what he sincerely believed. When Jonathan discovered his error, he promptly corrected himself. As Americans become more comfortable with lying, relationships become more weak. True friendship is built on mutual trust. When friends lie to each other, the foundation of their relationship cracks and crumbles.

       Be Affectionate. When Jonathan discovered that his friend’s life was indeed in danger, they both realized that David would have to go into hiding. Spending time together would no longer be safe. As they parted, “they kissed one another, and wept with one another” (1 Sam. 20:41). Jeremy Goff, a deacon in the Parsons church, has been a Jonathan to me for ten years. Jeremy, 34, is a man’s man, a strong and muscular guy who hunts, fishes, coaches young athletes, and avidly follows Tennessee Volunteer football. But Jeremy has never been reluctant to give me a big hug. Many potential friendships never form because people are afraid to say or show how they feel about each other.