The book of Psalms begins with a blessing for “the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked” (Ps. 1:1). I thought of this passage after hearing a disturbing interview Monday morning on Louisville’s AM radio station WHAS 840. Tony Cruise, host of the morning show, spoke by phone with Dr. Paul Schienberg, a therapist and coauthor of the book You Can’t Afford to Break Up: How an Empty Wallet and a Dirty Mind Can Save Your Relationship. Schienberg maintained that the biggest threat to a marriage was boredom, and that imagination was the antidote. He said that play-acting was especially effective in keeping a relationship fresh. For instance, a wife could go to a bar (pretending to be single) and her husband could come along and “pick her up.” Schienberg also recommended that couples find racy sections in novels and read them aloud to each other.

This advice contradicts both good sense and biblical teaching. Dr. Julie Slattery, a frequent “Focus on the Family” guest host, is the author of a new book entitled No More Headaches: Enjoying Sex and Intimacy in Marriage. She says that sexual intimacy in marriage involves two boundaries. One boundary is around the couple, and the other is between them. The boundary around the couple should be firm. That is, no one else should be permitted into the relationship. But the boundary between the couple should be open. Couples should talk to each other about their sexual needs and feelings. The Bible says to “let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the immoral and adulterers” (Heb. 13:4).

Unfortunately, Slattery says, American culture gets this backwards. The boundary around the married couple is left open, and the boundary between them is closed. In a fairly recent “Focus on the Family” radio broadcast devoted to her new book, she said that marriage therapists were even urging people to refresh their relationships with fantasy and pornography. This wicked counsel is exactly what Paul Schienberg was giving Monday morning. And any couples who follow it are planting poisonous weeds in their own garden.